Archive for December, 2005

I decided to start this post out with a “stupid things that people say”/NOT HELPFUL section ….because for some reason, close family/friends that we tell about the diagnosis seem to be all to free with their horror stories/comments. So…introducing my NOT HELPFULlist: 1. After relaying the news to a close family friend, she launched into... »

Chemo Day 1….Finished. As with all parts of this process, the anticipation seemed worse than the actual ‘therapy’. The treatment took from 8am-6pm. They started with the Rituxan…which took ages because they had to stop/restart whenever I began having an allergic response. For the interested, Rituxan specifically targets B Cells and marks them... »

We had such a nice Christmas! Despite everything going on, it was a great day. The kids had a really nice morning. We did overdo it a little with the toys/gifts this year…and dh bought a dvd video player and we recorded it all…There was still snow on the ground and all of... »

The biopsy was unpleasant…though not completely miserable. They were able to numb up most of my chest..just between the ribs was a problem. I think the anticipation and stress was just overwhelming too…I cried during the last half of it..not because it was so awful…but because I just felt so awful. The next afternoon,... »

“It’s either an unusual presentation of something usual, or a usual presentation of something unusual” is how the conversation with my husband went this afternoon. Apparently, it really is unclear what the heck this is…which adds to the stress of the biopsy and ensuing oncology appointment. I hope it’s an unusual presentation of... »

It’s nearly 3am and I can’t sleep. This weekend has just been torture…waiting for the needle biopsy, waiting for a final diagnosis….I don’t feel that I have the strenth to even go into the room on Tuesday and hear the ‘verdict’. My mom was coming on the 22nd but now she’ll be here on... »

I had the mri this afternoon…not nearly as anxiety-provoking as I had feared. The oncologist met with us afterwards. The tumor is 7 cm x 10 cm and..it is wrapped around my superior vena cava? I have mild superior vena cava syndrome or something from the pressure of the tumor on the vena... »

Last night, I was worrying about whether or not I should accept the job for the Spring Semester…today…I am worrying about whether or not this might be my last Christmas with my 4 beautiful children…whether I will lose this 5th baby…how fast life can throw us a curveball. I was diagnosed with ‘asthma’ 4... »

I heard from the Department Chair and they have officially offered me the position. Now here comes the kicker. I didn’t accept it right away. Something is just….holding me back! Thomas and I have been back and forth on it now for several days. He says this may be my ‘last chance’ to... »

Winter boredom is already setting in …I’m thinking that this will be one LONG winter for me, since it’s only early December and the worst is yet to come. I should rename my online diary ‘the rollercoaster ride’ or something….it seems like one day I’m up…the next I’m down.. The job appears to not be... »