Last night, I dreamt that I was running in a marathon with Andrew. I felt like I couldn’t keep running, but I wasn’t allowed to stop. Even though I was exhausted as I ran, I was filled with an unexplainable joy as I ran next to him. It felt like I couldn’t go on and at the same time, I didn’t want the race to end.
I woke up this morning with many complicated feelings. Andrew’s autism spectrum disorder sometimes makes me feel like I’m pushing through day-to-day without an end in sight. I get tired. I feel defeated. Today, I allowed another feeling to come into play. Joy. I am so happy to be a mother … so blessed to be his mother. I wouldn’t have it any other way.