The Dawkter's Wife - It's all champagne and caviar now … dahling

The Loony Bin

April 29, 2013

The social life of a dawkter’s wife…

Glamorous of course.

Well, you know … sort of glamorous.

Actually, we were 20 minutes late (as usual) for a very loud meal at Texas Roadhouse steakhouse. I haven’t managed to put on make-up in days, but I did at least curl my hair (about 12 hours earlier). My pants didn’t match my top. I had planned on changing that, but Alex’s green belt test meant that I drove home with him in the van and then jumped right into the car with dh to head right back out to run to dinner. I was wearing white sneakers, blue slacks (that were too tight) and a light pink sweatshirt. I might have spilled lunch on the top. Oh well. Why change my image now?

Last night we got together with three other medical couples for our monthly dinner club.

This is an event that I regularly start dreading a week before it happens. I’m not sure if it’s me (it probably is) or just the personalities that are coming together each time, but it isn’t something that I enjoy. I go because this is the one opportunity that dh has to socialize with people from work that he really likes. I feel sort of tossed in as an extra that doesn’t quite fit.

Here’s a rundown on the other personalities:

V: Eastern European. Very critical and picky and vocal about her feelings. She has walked into my house before and proclaimed my windows dirty, my furniture all wrong. She has two very small children who she doesn’t enjoy raising, and she has little understanding for most discussions of parenting older children.

H: A good friend of V who has clearly spent time talking about me in my absence *cough*. She also has two very small children and her life is about deciding on the right Kindergarten or picking a good snack for her toddler. She seems nice enough, but I feel like we have very little in common to talk about.

K: Earthy, crunchy, former social worker mom. None of that is bad, of course. In fact, she is the most down-to-earth of the bunch. She has four young children which means her life approaches the same level of chaos ours does, but she and her husband have so many members of their extended family nearby that they regularly take trips to Mexico and can travel at will.

All three women also know each other from Mom’s Club.

Then there’s me.  Right.

Me:  Never on time, the only one who is overweight, and raising 5 children by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin. Three of my children are teenagers, so I am at a place that none of them can imagine (or possibly fathom).  There kids are of course going to be perfect when they are teenagers (hey, no judgment, I was there once) and so anything I might add to the conversation sounds terrifying.

I think I’m just not dawkter’s wife material. And that’s the rumbling that starts in my brain the week before we hang out.

The first hour of our dinner is usually ok. I suck in my awkwardness and try to catch up with what everyone has done over the past month.

After an hour, I’m ready to go. For whatever reason, my brain just cannot do 3.5 hours of socializing with people who I don’t know very well and who are at  such different places in their lives. I really wish I could simply sit back and enjoy the conversation, but my mind draws a blank when it comes to questions to ask or even appropriate information to share. At that point, I want to go home.

We have five children. We are not going to Mexico anytime soon. We won’t be taking a month-long trip to Australia. Our parents aren’t here to give us a weekend off.  My teenage son smoked a cigar once, and I don’t know when the last time was that I signed my youngest daughter’s reading minutes. That’s the honest truth!

Another truth? I’m really ok with my life no matter how it appears to others. I will never be a Bravo version of a dawkter’s wife and thank Goodness for that!




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