The Dawkter's Wife - It's all champagne and caviar now … dahling

Medical Mondays Bloghop

August 6, 2012

The myth behind the man!

Right … so we all know the stereotypes …

The dawkter’s wife is:

1. …drop-dead gorgeous, thin, and always put-together. (and hey, I know you are…)

I wish I was.  My husband tells me every day that I am beautiful, but my medical chart says otherwise.  Though I should be embarrassed by the Depression diagnosis that is listed as an ongoing issue (and for more proof, just read through my blog after you have a dose of prozac on board.  Following my highs and lows might even require a stiff drink), but the diagnosis that rips it’s way into my heart  is …. obesity.

I wear socks with my sandals, and my most recent attempt to color my hair at home resulted in cranberry red streaks all over my head.  I limped over to a salon and had to go multiple shades darker with a red tint to cover it up.

Then of course, there are the sagas of my summer camping trips with the kids each summer.  We don’t stay at the Hilton or a Holiday Inn.  Disneyland is beyond our financial reach, but the National Parks are totally doable.  I bought a pop-up trailer off of Craigslist a couple of years ago.  Though it was totally gross and definitely needed some work, and nearly caused me to have a nervous breakdown,  at the end of the day, I am completely proud of how it turned out.

I have had people say “your husband is a doctor. Can’t he afford to get you a nice camper?”.  It always shocks me that people will go there too.  But the reality is that 1. No, he can’t … we have student loan debt to pay off and 5 children to raise and put through college and 2. I love my pop-up and so do my kids.


2.  …entitled and raised with a silver spoon in her mouth.

I have to preface this by saying that I don’t know a single dawkter’s wife who fits this description (though I’m sure they exist somewhere).  Most of the spouses I know have been strengthened by difficulties in their lives.  This is what makes them so capable in the face of moves for training, surviving wicked work hours during residency and … sadly beyond, and basically in the management of the family and finances.  I am extremely proud to call them friends.  They are incredible people who work very hard.

3. …a nurse who “got lucky” and then quit her job to stay home and live *the life*.

True story.  When my dh finsihed training, and we moved for our first post-training job, we bought our first home.  One of the bank big wigs helped us set up our accounts (until he discovered we pretty much had no money and then we were turfed to the regular staff!).  I was effectively ignored for much of the meeting until he asked dh if he wanted his MD title listed on his check.

“No … but do you want your Master of Science listed on yours, honey?”

The bank manager looked stunned.

<insert condescending tone>”Oh, are you a nurse?”

“No, I …”

“A social worker?”

“No, a molecular biologist.”


And while I have ‘quit my job’ to be a stay-at-home mom, it wasn’t always easy.  We lived on a very slim salary for the first half of our marriage.  Actually, for the first 8 years, we only had one car.  We lived with garage sale furniture until year 15.  We are now in the middle of our 18th year.  It’s true that we are more comfortable financially, but we were never able to set aside money each year for our oldest child’s college education and then there is the issue of student loans and of course the fact that we started saving for retirement pretty late.

That being said … we have a good life!

So spill it guys … what are some of the stereotypes of dawkter’s wives that you have run across?

To find out how the blog hop works, read more here.

  1. Found you through Medical Monday blog hop! Nice to find you! One of my favorite stereotypes? That we have full time childcare, cooks, housecleaning staff, etc. I’m lucky if I get help unloading the groceries!

    Comment by Just Another Doctor's Wife — August 6, 2012 @ 7:58 am
  2. Here via Monday Medical Blog Hop, I admire your sincerity. Indeed, over here, society expects a lot from Doctors and their spouses without giving anything back. They think you can afford just anything, and think you selfish if you say you don’t have anything to give. I guess another expectation from Doctors wives would be a knowledge of common prescriptions.
    Dr Erhumu recently posted..DEALING WITH DEMENTIA. My Profile

    Comment by Dr Erhumu — August 6, 2012 @ 10:04 am
  3. Thanks for the replies!

    I’m lucky if I get help unloading the groceries too, and I have teenage boys!

    Dr. Erhemu, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked to provide a *curbside consultation* for a neighbor or friend. It’s as if they sometimes think I learned medicine through osmosis by sleeping in the same bed as my doctor hubby! :)

    Nice to meet you guys!

    Comment by ~me~ — August 6, 2012 @ 12:17 pm
  4. Absolutely LOVE your husband’s response to the idiot banker!!! that was awesome!
    Amber recently posted..#iwantmypantiesback {my day in hashtags} My Profile

    Comment by Amber — August 7, 2012 @ 12:57 am
  5. You nailed it on the head! You should have seen the strange looks we received from people when we started residency. You could see their confusion: old cars, old house, old clothes, old…. are you sure you are a doctor. We had to “educate” more than a few people that just because you earn the doctor degree doesn’t mean you are the doctor they think exists. We are still trying to educate our family that just becuase we finish this year and will have “the” job doesn’t mean we are going to have “the” house, car, pool, etc. We have several more years and maybe even not then! Glad you linked up!
    Jane @ From A Doctor’s Wife recently posted..Olympians My Profile

    Comment by Jane @ From A Doctor's Wife — August 9, 2012 @ 9:26 am

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