The Dawkter's Wife - It's all champagne and caviar now … dahling

The Loony Bin

July 6, 2012

A sad good-bye

Yesterday, we put our 14 year old Australian Shepherd, Molly, to sleep. This came after months of agonizing about her quality of life. During the past two weeks, she began bleeding daily from her nose. She was having trouble passing urine and seemed to be sleeping more. I started giving her Tylenol 3 for pain, and noticed how much perkier it made her. I was afraid it would make her groggy and I was saddened to realize that she was lying around because she was in pain and was struggling to get up.

 

I stayed with her through all of it. They gave her a sedative first, to put her to sleep. I laid on the floor with her until she was asleep. It was a little scary for me. As she fell deeper into sleep, her tongue came out of her mouth and stuck to the floor. There were a couple of times that she tried to pull it in and move it, but she couldn’t. I didn’t know if I should try to help her or do nothing … and I opted to do nothing. The vet returned after about 10 minutes and administered the anesthesia. Her breathing slowed, and I honestly felt her … leave us. It sounds so weird to say, and I know that this was likely my imagination….but I felt it. There were still some shallow breaths, and our vet explained that it was a reflex, but I couldn’t help but worry during the night last night that she wasn’t gone … that they had put her into the fridge and she woke up and was afraid and that I wasn’t there. I keep trying to talk myself out of it. I know it’s just my grief talking.

It has been a sad couple of days ….

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