The Dawkter's Wife - It's all champagne and caviar now … dahling

The Loony Bin

March 2, 2012

I’m not afraid …

This has been a winter of growth and change for me.  It has come at one of the most challenging times in my life as a mom.

Andrew is in the process of being evaluated by Frasier Institute so that we can get help for his autism spectrum issues.  I had my parent meeting and then last week, he had the first of two evaluations.  I sat in on the process and internalized the shock and sadness at some of his answers … as I sat there, I wondered why I had waited so long to reach out and get help.

It’s because I love him so much and I thought that I could make the difference for him.  I felt that if I was just worked hard enough as a mom that we could overcome any issues that we were presented with.  I didn’t count on adolescence changing everything.  Now we have reached the point that outside help is necessary, and thank God we have access to it.  On the way home from our appointment in Minneapolis, I was remembering Andrew as a baby … and all of the hopes and dreams that I had for him.  He is my firstborn, I love him, I want someone to help us.  They are going to be getting him into a social skills training group for teenagers and help him to connect with a ‘coach’ who will meet with him individually and work with him on some life skills, interview skills, and leading him into the direction of a career choice.  His strengths are in mathematics and Physics, but he has gotten A’s in all of the science courses.  He will be my absent-minded professor someday if we can bring him there.  I’m not afraid though.  I feel hope for the future.

Amanda has struggled emotionally since her return to school.  It’s been more down than up for us.  It’s part of the reason that I haven’t posted much.  I needed time to work through it.  We have her in counseling and slowly, I am seeing a change.  Yesterday, after I picked her up from school, she turned to me and said “Mom, you know you really are a kind and understanding person.  You’re almost too understanding.  Kids aren’t supposed to be friends with their moms, but I like you.”  I wish I could have recorded it!  She followed that up with a hug that made my heart melt.  There is so much good beneath the struggle…and we’re going to make it.  I am starting to feel that.

I’m embracing not being afraid and finding who I am and what makes me happy.

I have applied to an MA program in Counseling Psychology.  I’ll let you know what happens…but I’m choosing this new direction in my life.

I have accepted a temporary adjunct position to help design and implement an applied human biology course for social work and psychology majors.

Things are pretty good even though at the surface the challenges seem overwhelming.


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